Ever wondered what happens when love is not returned? Do you know and realise that there are real things that people suffer that warrant the emotional state they find themselves in. But you? How dare you make such a big deal just because someone does not feel the same way you do about them. Now, I’m not trying to be insensitive and it must hurt and I understand that but let me tell you that your life is not about to end. This is not as tragic as you make it out to be. You gotta realise that your worth and who you are does not change just because someone does not return your affection. Know and realise that this is just a moment in your life that has occurred for a reason. Tomorrow, next week or next month you could meet someone and start growing in love for that person and they could feel the same. And your capacity to love will grow and it will be returned. And you know what? You will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they love you because you know exactly what it feels and looks like when someone doesn’t. You gotta take the good from every situation. Take the lesson. Sometimes we have to suffer the bad in order to know the good.
Your ability and capacity to love is an absolute amazing thing and who you choose to shower this upon does not change the beauty of it. Whether that person feels the same or not. We so easily lose hope and self-worth just because someone does not love us the same. We start looking within ourselves asking what’s wrong and tryna find the fault we think they find that prevents them from loving us. We beat ourselves down. Not realizing that love overcomes alot of things even deep rooted flaws and imperfections. If anything, we ought to know that no amount of anything stops our love so why do we expect the love of someone else to be based on our good behaviour or be measured by our flaws and imperfections? We sell ourselves short most of the time. We determine what we deserve. We decide what kind of treatment we should get.
And maybe that’s why we are in this mess in the first place. Maybe we should ask ourselves how we ended up in this position on the brink of self-loathing just because someone does not love us. Why did we let things get so far when surely there were warning signs that this person does not even feel the slightest bit the way we do? How did it get this far? Is it then that we subconsciously started working extra hard to earn the love we feel we deserve while we give it freely?
Not everyone’s heart is open to receive love. From anyone. Do you realise that there are people walking around with virtual high walls around their guarded hearts. Absolutely nothing gets in. Even when you “break down those walls”. You find that it’s still “guarded”. What do you do now? You walk away. “Breaking down walls” is one thing. But removing the guard has to be done by the person guarding it. It’s a decision that they have to make. It’s a choice and absolutely nothing you ever do will change that. At this point you will find that you are about to try and force your way into the heart of a person. Don’t you realise that none of us should ever have to force ourselves into the heart of another. We are all made with the ability to love and open our hearts to people. Some are just completely scarred and have been hurt along the way of life by various things and this causes them to choose to guard their hearts and put walls around it because of unresolved issues. This is gonna cause suffering for whoever attempts to find a place in this person’s heart because they will be hit with rejection. They will come to find this place under lock down and the irony is that they will start looking within themselves for the fault. This is where their self- worth is in question. The confusion starts and slowly but surely they become a slave to the person they “love”. I think this is where narcissism/codependancy and unhealthy relationships of every kind begins.
When all you do is love a person and find yourself in the abovementioned position you better leave before the start of the abovementioned results.