When you start cultivating the culture of “working your way into” someones heart you are in for a lifetime of doing so. Are you sure that you always want to question whether you really “made it in”? People have somehow placed a sense of accomplishment to “breaking down the walls” of guarded people. But there is a huge price to pay for this. And that price is losing love that should be given you freely (settling for less than you deserve) and even losing the love you have for yourself. Do you realise that the other person has to exert absolutely no effort and almost never has to show you any love because you have conditioned him to only receive it with absolutely no effort and conditioned yourself to believe that any love from him will take work. That you will have to earn it. You see, the danger of “breaking down walls” is that you have subconsciously accepted that you have to work to get into someones heart. Basically that you need to prove yourself worthy of their love and safe enough to trust with their heart just because they had chosen in the past and found themselves hurt. You decide that you will do all that is necessary to get a place in their hearts. This always leaves you wondering what it is you have done wrong or what is wrong within you that does not allow this person to love you. You start believing that you are not worthy of love. Not realizing that their inability to accept and give love was present long before you came. That you actually have absolutely nothing to do with the situation at hand. But you start projecting all the toxic on yourself.
You even say the 3 words: “I love you”. And before he responds you had already resolved in your heart that he will not respond accordingly. You have accepted much less than you deserve. The first time you accepted that was the time you let him know that not returning your love is okay.
When your self-worth and the love for yourself starts to be in question you gotta know that the situation has become toxic and can lead to self destruction. Loving a toxic person can be detrimental. Because of the purity of love and the fact that it naturally covers a multitude of sins we overlook and allow alot of things we should never allow. The characteristics of love don’t change based on the situation or person we choose to love. We CHOOSE. We decide whether we will accept any form of treatment. Love is a choice. Once it becomes merely an emotion it’s in question. Emotions are misleading and could keep us in toxic situations. We should not be controlled by our emotions but control our emotions. Love is a choice. And we decide who we want to love. We gotta make sure that we love ourselves and know how much God loves us before we’ll be safe loving anyone else. Also, We gotta know what real love is. If we don’t know God. We don’t know love because He is Love.